


Haunted by Death

by WellRiddleMeThis



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Non-Graphic Violence, One Shot, POV First Person, Swearing, Vampires, reference to suicide, slight insanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 09:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3130298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WellRiddleMeThis/pseuds/WellRiddleMeThis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Think you know about vampires? Well you don't, most of what you think you know is bullshit.  Let me tell you how it really is...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haunted by Death

I am haunted. Not by ghosts or demons or anything I can be rid of, but by my own mind and the things I do… The things I am forced to do, by the savage impulses that now reside in my head. I wish I could turn back time, and go back to before it happened… but I can’t. Truth be told, I can’t even remember what my life was like back then, that’s what scares me the most. Twenty years of my life gone just like that, as if they never happened. All I remember is darkness, pain and the sound of my own heart slowing to a stop.

I am haunted by my lack of memory, heck, I don’t even remember my own name, how pathetic is that? These days I just go by Red, after the colour of my eyes. Most of my kind have black or yellow eyes… Guess I couldn’t even get that right. All I remember is the attack, the way she called to me ‘Hey mister got a light?’, the way her eyes turned from sparkling blue to deepest black and the way she ripped my throat out with her curved teeth set in a jaw which dislocated like a snake’s.

That was a month ago. My life…my existence, has been hell ever since. There are things I used to experience that I can’t anymore. Things like… feeling the sun on my face, the joy of other people’s company, the clarity of my own mind; it’s tormenting to know that I used to feel these things but can’t even conjure up a memory of them as comfort, though I must admit I gave up on comfort long ago. For a vampire to be able to live in comfort they need to be really bloody rich, and guess what, I’m not. And yeah, you heard right I said vampire but before you start picturing any Twilight or Dracula shit let me lay it out for you. 99% of the stuff you think you know about vampires is bullshit, complete bullshit, created by authors, script writers, actors, producers and directors trying to make the character and story more flexible for the general populous. The legends and myths surrounding vampires are works of fiction by ignorant minds, nothing more. 

So let me make it clear for you. The ideas that you could hurt me with holy water, garlic or a wooden stake, the idea that I have to be invited into a place before I can enter, the idea that I can’t cross running water and the idea that I have to serve whoever bit me is bullshit. None of that applies to vampires in the real world. I can’t fly, I can’t change my shape and I can’t control people’s minds… so what can I do? I can move quicker than normal people and I am stronger to a point, I can read people’s body language and instinctively know when someone is being deceptive, while I myself am almost impossible to read. I like to think I am smarter than your average person and can find loopholes out of agreements or find ways for them to benefit me. I can heal almost all wounds without the aid of blood (however it does speed up the process) and can only be killed by decapitation. Lastly I can dislocate my jaw and my bite will pass on the condition AND, I can technically survive in sunlight. I know… shocking isn’t it.

The sunlight thing is the biggest misconception of all, it will. Not. Actually. Hurt me. What it will do is screw up all of my senses and spark a surge of primal fear that sends me into a panic attack and leaves me unable to function until night falls or shade passes over me. I said I can survive, I didn’t say it was fun. So where does the idea that sunlight actually burns me come from? Well… as well as blinding me, deafening me, cutting off my sense of smell and giving me the worst headache imaginable, it also makes everything hot to the touch. NOT burning, not quite, but imagine the pain from placing your hand on a kettle that’s just boiled. It’s not bad enough to do any real damage but it hurts like a bitch. This happens because my senses are heightened a shit tonne by the vampire condition, but only for use at night, therefore in the day, sunlight gives me sensory overload. You still with me? Anyway if I had enough self-control I could train out the primal fear and the headache and just learn to adapt, there are vampires who have done it and spend short amounts of time in sunlight to catch people out, but I’m not that desperate for food, I’d rather wait for them to come to me.

Though don’t, for one minute, make the mistake of thinking I enjoy this life. If the survival instinct wasn’t too strong I would have killed myself long ago, I hate killing people to survive, I hate hearing their screams and ignoring their pleads. Every time I lose my mind in the bliss of feeding I crash back to reality in a vortex of self – loathing and guilt that makes me want to die for good…I am a monster, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.

I tried in the beginning. I tried not to kill, not to feed. I was going to retain my human side, prove that I was stronger than the curse; all I did was make it worse. I was two weeks into my new... Existence and hadn’t fed, it was so stupid, looking back I should’ve just killed some homeless guy but, I didn’t. I was curled up against the wall of this alleyway down the rough end of town, I guess I figured I wouldn’t see many people. I don’t know whether it was poor judgment on my part or just plain dumb luck but a group of young woman walked past me; they were on a hen night or something... And a part of me snapped. I don’t really remember what happened, I guess that’s the price of being bloodstarved; I blacked out and when I came to... I was sprawled out on the floor, drenched in blood, with the shredded bodies of the woman scattered around me. 

That was the last time I tried to be noble, tried to be human. I came to terms with what I was and vowed to just survive, to keep myself to myself, kill only those who won’t be missed. I hate myself, I hate what I am and what I must do but I have no choice; I hope someone kills me, soon, I can’t spend eternity like this, and God knows I deserve to die.

I have suffered through a living Hell for years; I wouldn’t wish this life upon my worst enemies...

And now, because of me, you must suffer the same fate... I’m so sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I know its not fandom related but it's something I wrote and felt like sharing :)


End file.
